The Science Behind Intervention
The most documented Drama Triangle (fig. 1) is an explanatory device often known to professionals working with at-risk families, children in schools, and therapists.
Therapists particularly, perhaps due to the nature of the profession, and at least as far back as Freud in 1910, see the value in recognising that relationships based on an idea of rescuing each other may not be helpful. (1) As the ancient adage goes; ‘Teach a person to fish, don’t just give them food.’
Therapy may well be the art of both giving food and teaching to grow your own. Or put differently, supporting and empowering people given that: a) From the outside one cannot really know with certainty what kind of inner obstacle a client is facing, (we can make educated guesses and create categories that professionals call diagnoses) but ‘we each have our own mountain to climb.’ b) That each of us also have remarkable survival skills, and: c) We are ‘hard wired for connection.’
Given the right relational and environmental conditions, due to our fundamental drive (2) to be in relationship and on-going neuro-plasticity (capacity for transformational change), even those of us with apparently insurmountable trauma can be supported to thrive. (3)
Creating explanatory social models in regard to the positions people take, often unconsciously, in relationship to others, can help to elucidate the relational dynamics of self and other destructive behaviours. Such social models can be illuminative in the sense of helping us to understand, or at least roughly interpret situations that are problematic for people.
At the same time they are most useful when focused on the relational process by which destructive behaviours are carried out, while also including a map for positive change. Schools of relational dynamics that do this include Gestalt therapy, with its’ exploration of the positions that people occupy in relation to one another. Gestalt trained therapists notice that the past appears to exist in the Gestalt (form) of the present. As the past appears to recreate itself, so the theory goes, if we look to the present we will find the past in front of our very eyes.
This is also a simplified description of transference, the transferring of the past onto the present. We can then address historical issues through engaging with and understanding present dynamics. (4) Explanatory social models are also often used in Transactional Analysis (5) and they can be of interest to therapists who have experienced the influence of what are called archetypes (roles or patterns of behaviour that transcend time, culture and race) on them, their clients and on society.(6)
The power of archetypes to explain human roles and patterns of behaviour are explored extensively in Jungian analysis, and in the branch of Jung’s work created by Arnie and Amy Mindell, known as process oriented psychology. (7) Archetypes also figure largely in all world religions, as the work of famed mythologist Joseph Campbell clearly shows. (8) Campbell not only explored the meaning of myth in a religious sense but also related it, with the help of Jungian understanding, to the challenges, suffering, search for meaning and aliveness that is an inescapable part of the human condition.
The various drama triangles that can be found through an online search may even suggest that Campbell’s description of the ‘dark wood’ stage of the human journey consists largely of the mess we can find ourselves in, if our social world is defined by power dynamics indicating greed and fear; perhaps as a relational cycle of exaggerated grasping, rejection and avoidance.
The original Drama Triangle is thought then to have been created by Stephen Karpman in 1968. (9) It is known as the Drama Triangle as when the three positions or archetypes of victim, persecutor and rescuer are adopted by, or acted out between people in relationship to one another, what appears to ensue is on-going, even inter-generational drama, without lasting resolution.(10) Yet this will not be the pattern that we will explore here.
As, when I explored his model I felt compelled to add another position, that of the bystander. (Figure 2) This position of ‘separateness’ has been normalised as the ‘scientific’ observer that may persecute by ‘objectification’ and appears fuelled by an early Cartesian world view of a split between subject and object, a view that denies inter-relationship and the interdependency of the human being with the environment. (11) As we will explore it here ‘the bystander’ is an avoidant position, disconnected, detached, perhaps persecuting by omission and neglect, and then again perhaps an aspect of the victim position.
In my own life, as I introduce below, both in my work over many years as a manager and staff trainer at Ruskin Mill Trust and now in my work as a multi-modal Dance Movement Psychotherapist I took more and more notice of another drama triangle being played out. The rescuer position started to appear background, perhaps depending on motivation and attention oscillating between victim (developing secondary trauma) and persecutor (‘My way or the highway’). (Figure 3)
This model, while inspired by Karpman’s model, rather focuses on the archetypes or positions of victim, persecutor and bystander. You will see from the drawing below, that it also draws attention to a conflictual relational dynamic, and describes individual roles of those persons socially involved with each other.
I notice that in my relational patterns, and in particular contexts such as family, work or society some, or even many of us, appear to default to one ‘drama position’ which may be, dominant, (persecutory) subservient (victimised) or avoidant (standing-by). This is not intended to replace Karpman’s model but rather is part of an ongoing exploration of inter and intra-personal relationship and the dynamics of struggle and mutual empowerment.
I will attempt to elucidate the nature of this Drama Triangle, it’s possible transformation and how it may have significant explanatory potential of our internal relational and physiological dynamics, as it is also mapped to the positions or dynamics we appear to take in response to overwhelming stimuli, namely that of flight (fear), fight (anger) and freeze (flop/dissociation).
As suggested, ‘social cycling’ through these positions leads to destructive fall out, damage, and further trauma, rather than resolution and evolution. The persecutor, victim and bystander exist not in isolation from each other but seem to be a recurring and self-perpetuating relational system. This appears true at least, within the social system the triangle represents, if not ultimately for all persons, the wider environment and other non-human beings within it’s sphere of influence.
I will then explore the possibility of positive change, where what I hope to demonstrate, is that the underlying needs behind the three positions can be channeled into both personal and social empowerment. While drama and empowerment dynamics have wider environmental and political implications, we will start with the body, as ‘the body keeps the score.’(12).
A Drama Triangle
There is a parallel then to be discovered between unhelpful social dynamics and the reaction of human physiology and psychology to threat. When we adopt a position of curiosity and compassion, as suggested by a number of important religious leaders and psychotherapists, (13) interesting insights emerge concerning the internal states of victim, persecutor and bystander.
Simplistically viewed the victim appears, perhaps even in the long term to be in flight mode. The persecutor on the other hand, while also in a state of sympathetic nervous arousal, is in fight mode. The bystander occupies a dissociative or freeze state, having adopted a parasympathetic response to unfolding social events. (14)
These positions are of course not necessarily fixed. If the victim is unable to fight back, and unable to flee, both of which would entail a sympathetic nervous response, the victim may then go into a dissociative state. In a sense the victim then becomes a bystander to their own trauma. (15) So what we see is perhaps a useful correlation, between the drama triangle that I introduced above, and what are well-known and universally applicable possible internal responses to threat.
Work with trauma recovery shows that individually, over the long term, the worst position to maintain is that of the bystander, especially where this relates to having earlier been a victim. (16) This state of powerlessness, which is mentally and physiologically associated with impending death, is the hardest form of post-traumatic stress to come back from.
A potential victim who has been able to fight back has salvaged themselves from the worst introjective (internally aimed) repercussions of trauma. One danger then lies in them in turn becoming a persecutor (17). Indeed those who were historically victims can, when enough time has passed, exact their own revenge, (perhaps a self-defeating way of attempting to be understood and reclaiming power) often not on the persecutor but on someone who is as vulnerable as they once were.
Another way that the bystander/victim position may move to the persecutor position could be through suicide, where self-violence (with the concomitant and unavoidable community-oriented revenge) is used to demonstrate the violence of introjected feelings related to being a victim of persecution. (18)
We can see the Drama Triangle acted out in real life, time and time again. (Figure 4) Perhaps, as I will go on to explore, this is the lose, lose political situation we currently find ourselves in, in British politics. The so-called ‘cut and thrust’ of public life, and comments of business being ‘a dog eat dog’ world, and that politicians should ‘fall on their sword’ even normalises this pattern of dysfunctional relationship. (19)
Society or ‘the public’ can easily, it appears, become bystanders to political events that are clearly not in their best interests. The ’public’ can appear frozen, apathetic (20) (perhaps also from having suffered too much in an inter-generational sense) and unable to meaningfully engage with politics apart from through the damaging miss-truths as now propagated by face-book and other social media platforms. (21)
This parasympathetic public position in part may result from people’s relationship to authority and power dynamics at school, at home and in society. (22) At the very least an over-reliance on the use of external rewards or sanctions to control behaviour, and at worst more punitive measures, may skew a child’s natural vulnerability into that of victimhood. Authorities, organisations and companies also naturally desire to remain in control if drama is all that is perceived to be real.
Therefore, in the dynamic of the Drama Triangle they can easily find themselves in a persecutory position; perhaps out of fear of becoming the victim or helpless bystander to social events they themselves can anyway hardly be said to be individually in control of in a meaningful way. If this triangle is the predominant relational paradigm in what we could call our over-arching social paradigm, then any ‘sane’ person with some modicum of power will see it does not make sense to inhabit either of the other two roles. Where someone has power it would be ‘illogical’ to give it away until one has to, with the concomitant transferential threat of then becoming the victim.
We will now explore whether this Drama Triangle may also be descriptive of both internal positions and internal relational dynamics as well as our nervous system and social context. Within ourselves we can inhabit and experience relational conflict and self-talk in which an aspect of our behaviour is that of a victim. Our self-talk might be; ‘I have to do such and such.’ Further more that; ‘I am not allowed to be myself around X.’ Words such as ‘should’ ‘must’ and ‘have to’ may be indicative of the victim dynamic.
Another aspect of self-talk is that of an internal persecutor or bully. You may recognise such internal phrases as: ‘Why did you do that, you idiot?!’ Or; ‘You don't deserve to be in this company, you are not good enough.’ Or; ‘They are paid more than you are as they are better.’ Or ‘You are not good enough to do this or that.’
The internal bully will of course also utilise ‘should’ and ‘have to’ words in order to gain compliance but with a different tone from the internal victim. The internal bystander may witness the dynamic, but just as an alcoholic might recognise the cycle of alcohol induced boom and bust, nevertheless may be powerless to do anything about it. Insight alone is never enough as Gabor Maté writes: ‘Many people have watched themselves helplessly as they began to do something they knew would be unhelpful or self-defeating.’ (23)
For example, in my own life around family meals when I was much younger I began to notice a part of me wished to escape from the potentially critical and shaming conversation that could often play out. While, at the same time another part would try to attack before being attacked, sometimes masked as ironic/sarcastic humour or subtle put down.
Even while this dynamic was at play awareness of a third aspect developed in my mind. This internal role would sit passively observing, perhaps in an intellectually engaged, but emotionally disconnected way. My internal bystander appeared unable to affect change in the dynamic, while also realising that something was preventing me from being true to my deeper relational and collaborative impulses.
Perhaps it was the ‘objectifying safety’ of this position that lead me to study political philosophy as my first degree. The bystander is somehow both there and not there. The voice of the bystander might be; ‘It’s hopeless, there is nothing I can do to change any of this.’ Or: ‘I have always been like this and am always going to be.’ Again, the bystander might say; ‘I don’t want to involve myself in the drama of life, it’s safer to stay detached.’
Social drama behaviour may of course be entirely unconscious, and there is no blame towards the victim for being in this unfavourable position. This is obviously true, while at the same time society is also perhaps far too quick to blame the persecutor and increasingly the bystander. (24) When actually, as with Karpman’s model, all are ultimately victims of this way of relating. Blaming the persecutor, I believe comes out of fear and anger aimed rightly yet unfortunately at preventing harm, which then, as has long likely been the case, quickly fills the prisons with people with learning disabilities, intractable mental health illness and above all those who have suffered from multiple adverse childhood experiences (ACE’s). (25)
Of course something has to be done to prevent the ‘social cycling’ of further trauma, not just for the victim, but also to protect the perpetrator from becoming more entrenched in their abusive behaviour. And this may not just be externally oriented abuse. We may take on the role of internal persecutor. We might play sports until a ligament goes. We may ignore discomfort or push through tiredness until we are chronically fatigued. At the same time we also need to empower the bystander.
How can this be done without rescuing or persecution? Punitive victim focused rescuing appears to perpetuate a destructive relational dynamic on an ever-larger scale. The atrocities committed by governments and large corporations, let alone terrorists, become more and more reason just to ‘keep our heads down and attempt to stay out of the way’.
In a personal and far less dramatic way this was also the advice given to me before I decided to leave my incomplete PGCE in 2011, while still reeling from having been verbally bullied and shamed in front of a class of students by the teacher I was responsible to. Years later I discovered that she was apparently struck off the teaching register, having finally moved from bully to victim in the drama triangle. For myself, having attempted to put in a complaint against her, I soon followed my flight instincts and left my training unfinished to then pursue a rewarding 7 year career as a manager in therapeutic education.
We are understanding more and more about the genesis of our social behaviour in patterns laid down in the neurology not only of the infant (26) but also the unborn child (27). Highly accurate predictors of future parenting and therefore parent/child behaviour and neurological development can be made from the behaviour of the toddler who has not even dreamt of becoming a parent yet themselves. (28) How children respond to their parenting can literally define how they themselves parent.
There is also an environmental and dietary, we could say physiological parallel here to the fact that the quality of a woman’s eggs are shaped by the levels of nutrition and toxicity their mother experienced while this now grown up woman was being gestated in the womb. Hence what a woman’s child receives in terms of genetic material was set up around some 50 years earlier. (29) I bring the above example to show how our psychology and physiology are both interlinked and inter-generational. We are literally holding the lives of our children’s children in our hands while we hold and care for our own babies.
Without awareness of, and visceral change (30) to patterns of neurology the more we do something the easier it becomes to do more of it with less and less conscious thought, even if the results are catastrophic. (31) This behaviour then can extend down the generations becoming part of our inherited and unconscious way of interacting with others, our self-descriptions and perspectives on reality.
Also the worse the health of our parents and their grandparents the easier the slide into chronic disease, even for infants as we are seeing now, with the alarming rise in chronic antibiotic and medically resistant diseases untreatable in children, all the while as there are reports that a number of Doctors, perhaps in an effort to rescue their patients, continue to over-prescribe antibiotics. (32)
I shall now return to the personal and familial in order to explain how the above drama triangle can become an entrenched modus operandi. I have been coming to terms with having both inhabited the victim position in school (as a precursor to my adult experience); having been attacked repeatedly without given reason, perhaps on account of speaking a foreign language and/or being olive skinned. And then also as a child I felt a hatred of weakness and vulnerability, which in turn led to my harassing and bullying my younger brother at times.
This was until, perhaps fortunately for both of us, he grew taller than me at the age of 12 and exacted his revenge. I also memorably squeezed the hand of and proceeded to tease a cousin of mine, who I, at the age of 14, perceived as having a limp handshake. After all, so my internal logic went, he would never have survived in my secondary school and he had to ‘pay’ for that as I had to ‘psychologically and physiologically pay’ for being schooled there.
With his perceived weakness at roughly my age and being a family member he seemed to my teenage self, bizarrely as I reflect on it now, to be a threat to my psychological if not physical survival. His gentleness was a painful reminder of how I had had to harden against my own vulnerability in order to survive my school and familial experiences.
However, as said above, where current relationships belie expectations for long enough and consistently enough, transformational change can take place. We know this from work with addiction, (33) with entrenched mental health problems, (34) recovery from educational fall out (35) and so on. This truth is at the core of my current psychotherapeutic practice.
But how can the relational dynamics of this drama triangle lose their power to define patterns of relationship? How can we learn how to socially focus on restorative rather than punitive justice? As I questioned above how does one change this dynamic without falling into the trap of continual rescuing? And finally, how can we start to become aware of, and care for, internally conflictual and split-off positions? As my family meal, and bullying examples showed at play, the process of establishing positive internal dynamics within our own nervous systems is a powerful challenge.
Many of us are not able to jump into group psychotherapy with a multi-modal DMP, nor will many have the inclination to put themselves in a Contact Improvisation class and jam, which I have personally found through many years of weekly practice to physiologically and psychologically re-define my relational patterns.
Initiating positive change
The first step may be to receive support from ‘an other’ who is employing a different and mutually empowering relational paradigm. The second step could then be to recognise and reduce the cyclical power of blaming and judgemental mindset towards ourselves and then towards others. (36)
Let us remember that as bio-psycho-socio-immunological (body-minded or minded-body) beings, such experiences and transferals of pain, as explored above that have led to violent expressions of anger, hatred and revenge are ultimately self-defeating. (37) One could even say they are acts of unconscious self harm (38), as uncontrolled expression as well as repression of ‘healthy’ anger may lead to autoimmune conditions and chronic physical and mental ill-health. (39)
The external war becomes, and then perpetuates itself, as an internalised energy consuming war within both the psychology and physiology (body-mind or minded-body) of the self. My own development, as a teenager, of extreme migraines resulting in hospitalisation and days of incapacity are a vivid example to me of this kind of internal stress response, perhaps triggered by unresolved/ externally unresolvable relational conflict.
As the science of epigenetics and investigations into neuro-plasticity make clear (40), and as the art and evidence based success of psychotherapy demonstrates; (41) we don't have to be the same people that we were in the past. To turn to a horticultural analogy, if we improve the quality of the soil that feeds the plant, the plant may adapt to new conditions and begin to thrive. The same is true for us. It is said that 5 years or more spent with an intimate partner who does not suffer from a traumatised attachment style can be profoundly healing, as can a long term psychotherapeutic relationship.(42)
There are ways then of providing an environment in which patterns of relationship, such as those found in the Drama Triangle, are no longer needed. If we change the quality of relationship for the human being, usually after a period of painful self-recognition and mourning, our connection prone neurology can develop further social engagement strategies. This is perhaps achieved through the poly-vagal system, which connects brain to heart and gut.(43) This system is another example of how our psychology is not just in the mind, but in the body also. With a great deal of persistence and creativity on the part of the supporting environment and individual, the human being can adapt to new conditions, and behavioural and nervous system change will ensue. The brain may struggle for some time to believe in the new conditions, still expecting the former to reassert themselves (we could call this the ‘just in case’ survival principle). But, given both repetitive and peak experiences of connection the brain will change itself.
The Empowerment Triangle (Figure 5)
There is another way then, not only of viewing human relationship, but also taking the thwarted needs that, I suggest, power the dynamic of the Drama Triangle and putting them, and their underlying energy at the service of more life-enhancing strategies. This means to harness the energy of each position, the need that drives such behaviour, as Marshal Rosenberg would have said (44), and reframe the paradigm.
It is a significant paradigm shift that we all need if we are to survive and even to thrive in the current environmental, (45) political (46) and mental health crisis (47) that we find ourselves in. An example of the kind of mindset shift I am exploring is, to return once more to the emotion of anger, to use anger as a positive force in order to maintain personal boundaries and potentially generate/initiate positive familial or social change. Such moderated anger it appears may then also support the immune system to shrug off health conditions that have been linked to being over-accommodating or overly defensive/aggressive towards others. (48)
This brings us back to the importance of moving away from a blaming and judging position, which as a relational dynamic, as I have explored above, is as destructive for the victim as it is for persecutor and bystander. The reason for this, as given above, is the interwoven nature of our bio-psycho-socio-immunological health. In other words if we remain in the Drama Triangle both socially and internally, for long enough, regardless of the position we inhabit, we experience damaging and ultimately vitality-defeating stress. This is likely to result in chronic ill health, on-going pharmaceutical intervention and even early death. (49)
But how can we change when the undercurrent of socially sanctified violence, (50) both in words and action, and in relationship to ourselves and in our self-talk (51) runs so deep? Again following the insights of Non-Violent Communication (52) we can explore the underlying needs behind the different positions and find ways in which those needs can be met. And they can be met, not only in different, but also life sustaining and even enhancing ways. It was this line of thinking that lead me to move from naming a Drama Triangle to creating what I have termed the Empowerment Triangle (Figure 5).
For some years now I have been trialing it, both in 1:1 mental health mentoring sessions with students at UWE, (53) and also in men’s and mixed workshops at festivals including Colourfest (54), Wilderness, (55) and Santosa Yoga camp. (56) Other influences in its creation include a version of the discipline of Authentic Movement, (57) which I facilitated at Buddhafield (58) festival workshops over a number of years.
This is a beautifully simple form of non-judgemental witnessing, free movement and feedback, (reflection) a version of which was taught to me on my MA training as a Dance and Movement Psychotherapist. (DMP) (59) Other strong influences are; the religious practice of the Quakers and their work in peace testimony and witnessing, (60) and my 5 year practice of the improvised dance form known as Contact Improvisation which is widely credited to Steve Paxton.(61)
Finally and importantly in terms of developing a new perspective on the Drama Triangle is the compassionate mindfulness meditation practice I have been working with on and off for over 25 years. (62) In my practice as a multi-modal DMP (63) I also notice that as emotions are named and needs expressed in creative ways, while descriptive non-judgemental attention is brought to difficulty, and affirmation brought to client’s efforts to be their underlying feelings, the tendency has been for clients to sometimes spontaneously, and in general develop more empowered ways of relating.
The Empowerment Triangle can be used as both an internal and external reference point. The personal meta-cognitive development of the loving witness, appears pivotal in its development, while equally the qualities of initiation/action and surrendering/receiving are no less important. It is a tool useful both for internally recognising and steering rather than repressing or judging powerful emotional states that could be destructive, towards the service of humanity.
It may also be useful to illuminate the dynamics of external relationships and to recognise needs that are thwarted by the drama triangle. When needs are internally recognised and creatively expressed social resolution and empowerment can result. The overarching relational paradigm can shift when, as I have indicated, underlying emotions and needs are directed towards connection and growth, and vice-versa. When insight takes hold concerning another way of being in relationship that is collaborative, systemic and empowering this can become the new default. (Figure 6)
As I began to explore above the potentially positive dynamic of the victim is that of a person in need of support and in a receptive relational position. Quite literally even the victim is ‘receiving’ something. We rightly call this ‘abuse,’ i.e something that is not in their own interests, even if the abuse follows a systemically transferential pattern. In other words transferentially that victim, persecutor and bystander may be used to the roles that have yet again played out and also in some ways come to believe in, at least collude with and even support the system these roles are part of.
In the Empowerment triangle the victim shifts position to receiving the support they require. The victim may be able to learn to recognise what support they need at this time, which makes it easier to give. What they do not need is to be told to ‘keep calm and carry-on’ or ‘knuckle down and get on with it.’ The position of victim can transform from negative to positive, from abused to vulnerable, and from ‘being at the mercy of’, to ‘being cared for’. This is different than being rescued, instead becoming part of the give and take, the reciprocity of life lived in community. As the beautiful and insightful song by Bill Withers moves us towards:
‘Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it wont be long
Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on...’ (64)
Making the shift towards a society that actively cares for those that need to receive and recognises and celebrates a paradigm of empowerment can change everything for everybody. We can all recognise that there are times when we need support, perhaps quite literally we need to lie down, to receive medical attention, to receive a massage, to give up, to surrender, to rest for a while.
Especially when young (and possibly in old age) we will need to be cared for, and nurtured intensively for long periods of time. At all ages there will be times when we need to take a break, rest and recuperate. With this position, as I have said, comes vulnerability and unfortunately in the drama triangle this vulnerability can be highly undesirable due to a fear of abuse that goes with the Drama Triangle. (65)
Instead of receiving care and support we can be manipulated, become a recipient of harmful and sometimes unhelpful medical treatment, and perhaps circumstantially coerced into going back to work too soon. This is tragic when there are far more cost effective ways to make early support based social interventions while developing the skill of self-recognition and self-care that it is time to rest and receive.
New mothers and fathers in the U.K are just one case in point. Instead of receiving the maternity and paternity time they need to care for their new-born and to nest, they will be financially penalised/feel internalised pressure to go back to work within weeks rather than months. (66) As it is currently in the UK the essential attachment period of brain and social development can be left largely un-completed as mothers and fathers battle to make their way back into full time work. This may occur at a stage in their toddlers’ lives when they are still forming what will in turn become their own parenting styles, as explored above.
The Empowerment Triangle instead values the position of requiring support. I suggest that the positive dynamic behind persecution and bullying is that of initiation. This is the power of action, and social engagement, of stepping in, stepping up, being unsatisfied with how things are and acting to change them, as in the case of the current extinction rebellion movement and it’s carefully chosen underlying vision and values. (67)
Therefore I suggest that with a slight shift in paradigm the dynamic of persecution can be harnessed for positive action. The positive external aspect of the persecutor is non other than the archetype of the social reformer. This is to decide that something needs doing and to do it. Environmentally the negative archetype is that of the ‘quick fix’ builder of highways and dams, the open cast miner, the fracker and provider of environmentally dirty yet powerful interventions. (68)
The mindset of initiation within the Drama Triangle says; ‘We need it now and to hell with the consequences’. Workers autonomy and wellbeing can be routinely sacrificed for corporate power and profit. (69) The drive for growth and prosperity, if unchecked, pollutes rivers, destroys forests and tramples ecosystems. Internally this can be the voice that can drive us to perfectionism, to throw ‘healthy striving’ to the wind and knuckle down to ‘deliver at all costs.’(70)
To truly initiate, within a healthy dynamic, is not to destroy or attempt to out-smart nature but to co-create. This is a dynamic that scientists do well to consider in their role as initiators of innovation and the concomitant social and environmental change that comes with new technologies. (71)
The bystander or dissociative position is channeled in the Empowerment Triangle into becoming a loving witness. This is the internal dynamic similar to and generated by the practice of compassionate mindfulness. In terms of our internal dynamics this is a meta-cognitive skill that can be developed through practice. (72) To return to my family dinner analogy this is to maintain presence with my internal discomfort, to remain internally honest as to feelings and needs, and perhaps to initiate systemic change if that is possible. If this is not possible at least then to recognise that I need to give self-compassion and empathy. (73)
To internally hold the dynamic of the loving witness is to receive everything that is, without immediately acting to change it. (74) This is a deeply relaxed state of spiritual awareness that life is unfolding as an ‘as it is’ expression of the moment. Perhaps at this present moment my role as loving and empowering witness is to focus on love (as agape), and compassion for the process of give and take, the continual gifting and receiving.
This underlying relational dynamic is an ‘everyday/everywhere’ example of the unfailing reciprocity of life. The loving witness is in a place of alive restfulness. Nothing is being ‘done’ per say and therefore this is a state akin to that of the bystander in its parasympathetic dominance. Yet as an aspect of empowerment it is not passive. As Diane Musho Hamilton reminds us; ‘listening is an active verb.’ (75) Being in a state of mind that is both aware and compassionate develops the skill of mentalisation, presence and relationship. (76)
It also changes ‘the field’, to make an intuitive leap from quantum physics. This means placing choice-less awareness with what is unfolding. (77) Developing this position is highly useful as a tool in busy environments and in crisis management. It can be likened to but encompasses more than ‘being on the balcony’ or just displaying conscious awareness. (78) It is a place of waiting and witnessing, listening and (vitally also) heart and body-centred feeling. It may be that an inner voice to act is heard and one can then, from having cultivated this form of presence, move into the position of initiating ‘right action.’ (79)
I find that the Empowerment Triangle is highly practicable, and practice-able as a tool of discernment. To hold both Drama and Empowerment triangle in mind can aid us to work with the needs that are always driving behaviour and provide relational support to people to get in touch with those needs in ways that are socially generative and lead towards self-care without rescuing or ignoring them. This is of course care for ourselves, care for others and care for non-human beings and the environment.
Explanatory insight can help us to remain aware of when we are in danger of slipping into one of the Drama Triangle dynamics, or have already fully entered ‘the fray’. Both in relation to ourselves, and also in our relationship with others, we can instead access a relational dynamic motivated by positive inner presence and outer change. The techniques are simple yet challenging. This is certainly not an over-night practice, although insight may well be. Understanding of our patterns of behaviour followed by deliberate practice of recognising and subtly shifting our individual, familial and social relational paradigm may yet bring life changing results. (Figure 7)
Copyright Sam Bloomfield April 2019
References
Freud, S. (2007) Deviant Love: Concerning a Particular Type of Object Choice in Men. Translated by Shaun Whiteside. London: Penguin
Freud’s psychosexual use of the term ‘drive’ (Trieb) mistranslated I would say as a native German speaker, along with others, into ‘instinct.’ It may well be more fruitful, rather than having a solely psychosexual meaning to think of ‘drive’ as the basic drive for relational connection. Perhaps given the benefit of hindsight Freud would have agreed. Regardless, this is how I am using it here.
Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin. & Wallin, D. (29.08.2017) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 01.10.2017
Joyce, P. Sills, C. (2018) Skills in Gestalt counselling and psychotherapy London: Sage
Berne, E. (1966) Games People Play: the psychology of human relationships. Penguin: London
Hemson, M. (March 2019) Conversation: Venturers Academy: Bristol.
Mindell, A. (2011). Dreambody: The Body’s Role in Revealing the Self. LaoTsu Press: Portland
Campbell, J. (1968) The Hero with a thousand faces: Princeton University Press: Princeton
(10) Weinhold, B, Weinhold, J. (2013) How to Break Free from the Drama Triangle and Victim consciousness. Cicrcl Press: Colorado
(11) Reeve, S. (2011) Nine Ways of Seeing a Body, Devon: Triarchy Press.
(12) Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin
(13) Rogers, C. (1989) On becoming a person: A Therapists view of psychotherapy, London: Constable., Yallom, I.D. (2013) Loves Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy. London: Penguin, http://quaker.org, Nhat Hanh, T. (1999) The Miracle Mindfulness: An introduction to the practice of meditation: Beacon Press: Massachusetts.
(15) Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin. & Levine, P. (1997) Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books.
(16) Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin
(17) De Zulueta, F. (2007) From Pain to Violence. New York: Wiley
(18) Murphy, A. (2017) Out of this World: Suicide Examined: London: Karnac
(20) Macy, J. (20.02.2018) We Belong: Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 7.06.2018.
(22) Mueller’s account of Trump’s world acts as a cautionary tale for UK politics https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/21/mueller-account-trump-world-cautionary-tale-uk-politics?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other & https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/sep/02/barbaric-school-punishment-of-consequence-rooms-criticised-by-parents?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
(23) Mate, G. (2011) In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: close encounters with addiction. North Atlantic Books: Berkeley. (Pg 292).
(24) https://law.stanford.edu/2018/08/10/turning-bystanders-into-upstanders-amid-sexual-crimes/
(25) https://thebristolmayor.com/2019/02/15/making-bristol-an-ace-aware-city/
(26) Ainsworth, M. D. (1964) Patterns of attachment behaviour shown by the infant in interaction with his mother. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly of Behaviour and Development, pp51-58. & Bowlby, J. (1969) Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books.
(27) Okewell-Smith, S. (2016) Why Your Baby’s Sleep Matters. London:Pinter & Martin
(28) Okewell-Smith, S. (2016) Why Your Baby’s Sleep Matters. London:Pinter & Martin
(30) Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin. Levine, P. (2015) Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books. & Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006) Trauma and the Body: A sensory motor approach to psychotherapy, New York: W.W Norton & Company, Inc.
(31) Klein, N. (2014) This Changes Everything: Capitalism v’s the Climate. New York: Simon & Schuster & Klein, N. (2017) No Is Not Enough: Defeating the New Shock Politics. London: Penguin.
(33) Lipton, B.H. (2008) The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles, USA: Hay House. & Doidge, N. (2016) The Brain's Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity, Penguin: New York. & Graham, L. (2010) The Neuroscience of Resiliancy. [online] Accessed on 21st of June 2017 available at http://lindagraham-mft.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/The-Neuroscience-of-Resiliency-Interview.pdf & Graham, L. (2013) Bouncing back: Rewiring your Brain for Maximum Resiliance and Well-Being. Novato: New World Library. & Cozolino, L. J. (2016) & Why Therapy Works: Using our Minds to Change our Brains. New York: W.W. Norton.
(34) Mearns, D. & Cooper, M. (2005) Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy, London: Sage.
(35) Wallin, D. (29.08.2017) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 01.10.2017
(36) Porges, S.W. (2003) ’Social Engagement and Attachment’ Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, Vol.1008(1), pp.31-47.[online] [cited 2.04.17] Available from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1196/annals.1301.004/epdf
(37) Fisher, P. (2017) The Recovery Journey: The place and value of dance movement psychotherapy with clients with alcohol or substance misuse in Payne, H. (Ed) Essentials of Dance Movement Psychotherapy: International Perspectives on Theory, Research and Practice. Routledge: London & Mate, G. (2011) In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: close encounters with addiction. North Atlantic Books: Berkeley.
(38) Cozolino, L.J. (2010) The neuroscience of psychotherapy: building and rebuilding the human brain, New York: W.W. Norton & Cozolino, L. J. (2016) & Why Therapy Works: Using our Minds to Change our Brains. New York: W.W. Norton & Gerhardt, S. (2004) Why Love Matters: how affection shapes a baby’s brain. Sussex & New York: Routledge. & Koch, S., Kunz, T., Lykou, S., Cruz, R., (2014) Effects of dance movement therapy and dance in health related psychological outcomes: A meta analysis. The Arts in Psychotherapy 41 46-64 [online] Accessed on the 10.01.17. Available from: http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.aip.2013.10.004
(39) Ruskin Mill College: unpublished outcomes. One student whose 3 year ‘Student Journey’ I managed experienced such IQ development that she was no longer regarded as having SEN following just two years of the residential care and craft programme there. My observation was that the triad of her particularly caring residential care, the provision supporting and following her creative passion in self chosen craft activities, and her high levels of engagement were the main contributory factors.
(40) Nhat Hanh, T. (1980) The Heart of Understanding: Commentaries on the Prajnaparamata Heart Sutra. Berkeley: Parallax. & Siegel, R. (30.10.2018) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 30.10.2018.
(41) Mate, G. (2004) When the Body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Toronto: Vintage.
(42) https://www.ourcommunity.com.au/files/OCP/ShameTraumaAndSelf-harm.pdf
(43) Mate, G. (2004) When the Body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Toronto: Vintage.
(44) Rosenberg, M., B. (2003) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Encinitas, CA: Puddle Dancer Press.
(45) Klein, N. (2014) This Changes Everything: Capitalism v’s the Climate. New York: Simon & Schuster.
(46) Far-right terror detentions rise fivefold since Jo Cox murder: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/sep/16/far-right-terror-detentions-rise-fivefold-since-jo-cox?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
(48) Mate, G. (2004) When the Body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Toronto: Vintage.
(49) Mate, G. (2004) When the Body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Toronto: Vintage. & Gerhardt, S. (Why Love Matters: how affection shapes a baby’s brain. Sussex & New York: Routledge.
(51) Press wins right to 'name and shame' young offenders: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2004/jan/20/crime.privacy?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other & Sounds true podcast (self talk)
(52) Rosenberg, M., B. (2003) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Encinitas, CA: Puddle Dancer Press.
(53) University of the West of England: Wellbeing Service. I spent 3.5 years there as a part time specialist mental health mentor working through long-term therapeutic relationships to improve life outcomes of people with mental health diagnoses.
(57) Adler, J. (1996) Arching Backward: The Mystical Initiation of a Contemporary Woman. Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions.
(59) https://www.impactpathways.org.uk/Dance-Voice/Pathway-Services/
(60) http://quaker.org
(61) Little, Nita. (2019 Conversations and Ensamble Dancing. Nita is an early collaborator of Steve Paxton who is credited with starting the practice of Contact Improvisaton.
(62) Van Der Kolk, B. (2015) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin
(63) https://admp.org.uk/research-and-publications/research-studies-and-publications/
Multi-Modal under my definition: Using creative acts/arts in the broadest sense possible only limited by the therapist’s skills and capacities; to meet the client where they are at in their creative journey.
(65) https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/letters/jeremy-hunt-nhs-social-care-reshuffle-theresa-may-carers-a8149356.html & https://www.who.int/disabilities/violence/en/
(66) www.gov.uk
(68) https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/15/brazil-mine-collapse-vale-arrests-employees-latest?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other & https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/mar/26/thirty-years-after-exxon-valdez-the-response-to-oil-spills-is-still-all-wrong?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
(69) Jones, O. (2014) The Establishment: And How They Get Away With It. London: Penguin
(70) Gotzsch, P. C. (2013) Deadly Medicines and Organised Crime: How Big Pharma has Corrupted Healthcare. London & New York: Radcliff.
(71) Harman, J. (2013) The Shark's Paintbrush: Biomimicry and How Nature is Inspiring Innovation. Oregon: White Cloud Press
(72) Nhat Hanh, T. (1999) The Miracle Mindfulness: An introduction to the practice of meditation: Beacon Press: Massachusetts. & Siegel.R (30.10.2018) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 30.10.2018.)
(73) Rosenberg, M., B. (2003) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Encinitas, CA: Puddle Dancer Press.
(74) Tolle, E. (1999) The Power of Now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. New York: Yellow Kite
(75) Musho Hamilton, D. (30.10.2018) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 30.10.2018.
(76) Siegel.R (30.10.2018) Sounds True: Insights from the Edge. (Podcast) Accessed: 30.10.2018.
(77) Krishnamurti (1948) Choiceless Awareness. PDF Downloaded from: www.holybooks.com
(78) Mate, G. (2011) In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: close encounters with addiction. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books
(79) Wright, R. (2018) Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment. New York: Simon & Schuster
